I’m fascinated that “little” is such a popular D/s identity.

I have to admit, I’ve been struggling with this whole little thing for myself, personally. It’s been on my mind a bit lately, because it seems to be so big in the scene right now. Or maybe I’m just noticing because it’s been on my mind lately? One can never be sure. Regardless. Every time I hear self-identified littles talk about the behaviours they exhibit when they’re “being a little” or “letting their little out,” I think “I do that all the time… does that make me a little?”

I giggle and skip, sometimes I talk in a soft child-like voice, sometimes I whine a bit although I try not to (I hate whining in real kids, and hate it even more in adults, but sometimes I feel shitty and whining just comes out). I even started colouring earlier this year, long before this whole D/s thing, because it’s fun and adult colouring is totally “a thing” now. Swinging on a swing set has always been one of my favourite activities. I run up to them every chance I get, swing as high as I can, and then get scared because I usually swing higher than I can still feel in control.

So by all rights, that makes me a little right? Well, no, it doesn’t.

Here we are back to labels. I feel zero resonance with the label “little” or “little girl” or “baby girl.”

I believe reason why comes back to cognitive dissonance. I’ve never been forced to suppress my inner child, it’s just always been a healthy part of my personality. It enters in varying degrees to every facet of my existence. I’ve always been playful, even in professional environments. I’m silly and goofy, and I don’t turn it off when I go out into the grown-up world. I have never failed to giggle when someone farts — I just can’t help it! I’ve never had a problem letting my inner child out whenever she wants (within reason). Since she’s never been stifled or suppressed, she doesn’t feel the need to express herself at inappropriate times. She hasn’t gotten twisted up into this “thing” that’s some kind of entity unto herself and needs to be let out in safe and controlled ways. She’s just the immature, playful part of my own self.

For his part, Zeus has always encouraged this side of me. He’s playful too, and we’ve always had a lot of fun with that. He’s naturally the protective type and seems to enjoy taking care of me when I need it.

There is no way in Hell I will ever call him “Daddy.” No judgement on those who do! But he’s got a complicated relationship with his own daughter, plus my dad’s still alive and we have a good relationship. Just, nope. Not going there. I mentioned it to him only enough to say “I’ve been reading about this thing, and yesterday I almost had an urge to call you Daddy but it didn’t feel right.” and his response was “Thank you for not.” with a tone that confirmed my suspicion that it would shut him right down, not just the scene but probably for the day.

So there we have it, other than dressing up like a kid (and really, have you seen the way kids dress these days?? There’s no such thing anymore!), I have the behavioural tendancies of a little, but I don’t identify as one. I might keep an eye out for little events and discussions, just because it will be interesting and fun to basically be myself and have it be “a thing,” but mostly I’m just me.

Oh, and in case you’re curious: Results from bdsmtest.org

15 thoughts on “Am I a little? Yes, but no.

  1. Great post, Leda! I have little tendencies as well. They tend to come out when I am really run down. My husband has got this figured out now and the other day when I started bratting him when I was overtired, he told me that I was going to take a nap and then spend the evening coloring. It really helped and I felt so much better. It is nice getting to be little sometimes 🙂

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    1. Aw that’s so cute! Zeus actually likes Disney movies even more than I do, it’s pretty cute actually… “Ugh, I got something in my eye!” *wink*

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  2. This may be a bit off topic (lol), but my clinical psychologist says everyone has a inner toddler that wants to be cared for. And if inner toddler is neglected the grumps come through psychological and physical symptoms eg insomnia. So I guess you can be tuned in to your inner child and still not be a little! Daddy says his inner toddler is not inner at all cos he doesn’t even try to hide it 😉 *giggles*

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    1. Makes sense! I think a lot has to do with how much you’re allowed to express your childish side in everyday life. Some kids aren’t even allowed to be kids when they’re kids, so it becomes really repressed. My parents are total hippies, so there wasn’t much I wasn’t allowed to express. I’m infinitely grateful to them for that amazing privilege and gift!!

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  3. Thank you for sharing. I also was surprised at how common this label was used nowadays compared to say, 10 years ago (although on the topic of labels I would have rather they not reused the DD-part for DD/lg. There are already enough acronyms and initialisms in BDSM to where having one mean different things isn’t helpful).

    I’m of the belief that if you don’t see that personality side as compartmentalized, then you probably aren’t someone who would be classified as a little. I think that people that do compartmentalize it do so because at some point that innocence was either forcibly ripped away from them or they were shamed into burying it, e.g. “act your age, you are so immature.”

    In your case, it sounds more like, “free spirited.”

    I envy that M/f allows for people to be little.

    Take care.

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    1. Totally. I agree. And I think it’s great that there’s this outlet for people to find that part of themselves again and embrace it, even if they have to keep it separate from their daily lives. Seriously man, swinging!

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      1. There are, but I think many women already “mother” their male partners. What would a Mommy Domme look like? Maybe the School Marm disciplinarian type?

        Really when you think about it, besides the discipline, aren’t most mothers pretty much service submissives to their children? Or I guess you get the other extreme, the parents who make the kids do all the chores (that would be me, because my parents didn’t make me do any and I don’t think it did me any favours!)

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  4. Leda, I’m the same as you in that I don’t identify as a “little” but I enjoy many “little” things. My Sir has no interest in being a Daddy, but he’s more than happy to push me in a swing or do silly things. I think its important to just have fun as a couple and not worry about your labels 🙂

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    1. omg I’ve never even thought of asking Zeus to push me in a swing! Hmm. Thinking………….Nah, that’s okay. The pumping and going really really high is my favourite part. He’s a strong man for sure, but he couldn’t push me as high as I can push myself. Plus as an adult, I really enjoy the cardio and strength training aspects of it.

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  5. Interesting post Leda. I wrote something similar a while back and I agree with you, I’m not ‘little’ either but I am a free spirit, I like to use the term ‘a bit bohemian’ so it’s funny that you mentioned hippie parents! LOL
    I think for me the main difference is that I don’t feel the need to shrug adult responsibilities to be happy. I’m quite comfortable in the adult world, and when the opportunity arises I can be as silly and goofy as I please. 😉

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    1. That makes sense! My cultural identity is definitely “hippie.” 🙂 I could quite happily live in a beach hut in Thailand, playing ukulele and snorkeling all day.

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      1. We’ve got a 3 year plan… We live in a camper with renters paying our mortgage. Putting every extra dollar into the house, then we can retire on rental income since Thailand is so cheap.

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